I’ll admit the incessant, breathless, self-serving, wide-eyed booster-ism of late is really starting to piss me off… Hey, Phoenix Business Journal, enough with the “Phoenix is a foodie city!” mantra, OK? I was paging through this week’s print edition on Friday, and ran across a short screed arguing in favor of slapping the much sought-after “foodie town” label on our beloved Valley of the Sun.  Really?

The column, titled “Phoenix as a foodie town? Just take a look what’s here[sic]“, written by Editor-In-Chief, Ilana Lowery, is a feeble attempt to rationalize her claim it’s now time to refer to Phoenix as a true/legitimate culinary destination. Christ, can’t any of these editors manage a grammatically correct title for their puff pieces? I’m getting tired of having to insert [sic] somewhere in every quoted reference I make to an article in this rag! I’m guessing what she really meant was “Just take a look at what’s here.“, so that’s what I’ll do.

I’ve argued against making this specious claim twice in the past three(ish) months, first here in mid-November and then again here in early January. So once again, I find myself in front of a laptop, making the case for why Phoenix is not – I repeat not – a foodie town…

Ilana starts off by asking “When did Phoenix (and the rest of the Valley for that matter) become such a foodie town?” Hasn’t happened, sorry. Sure, we’ve got our James Beard award winners, countless rising stars and dozens of new eateries dotting the desert landscape, but we ain’t there yet.  Here’s why…

I keep seeing the same names in print: Justin Beckett, Chris Bianco, Kevin Binkley, Franco Fazzuoli, Sam Fox, Christopher Gross.  Yes, I’ve dined at one, (or more), of the fine establishments owned/operated by every one of these extraordinarily capable people. You want to call Phoenix a “foodie city”? Attract enough world-class culinary talent to the valley to end up with a list that’s ten times this size! A half-dozen standouts isn’t what I’d call critical mass, and you need critical mass to earn the right to use the phrase “foodie town” as a descriptor for your city.

Let’s assume I’ve left some outstanding, (and long-suffering), chef off my list. Like Nobuo Fukuda. …or Mark Tarbell. Yeah, Beau Macmillan too! Maybe there are at least five or six names missing – that’s always a possibility, I’ll grant you that.  Still, for a major metropolitan area numbering over four million inhabitants, wouldn’t you surmise there ought to be at least three or four dozen instantly-recognizable names, (well, instantly recognizable to those who spend most, if not all, of their discretionary income dining out), on that list?  Go ahead, try to name ’em. I’ll wait…

…can’t do it, can you?

A modest proposal. Stop with the monotonous chanting “…Phoenix = foodie city, Phoenix = foodie city, Phoenix = foodie city…”, and let a little more time pass. The great chefs in this town will keep doing what they do, the critics will visit, they’ll write reviews, the awards will be bestowed and, of course, customers will start to queue. That’s what needs to happen – and it needs to happen for several more years before Phoenicians can legitimately refer to the Valley of the Sun as an honest-to-goodness culinary destination on par with San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago or Los Angeles.  …or Houston, Boston or New York.

Please, for God’s sake, stop over-hyping this recent uptick in restaurant openings – pizzerias, burger restaurants and breakfast joints do not a foodie town make…  ;-)