Wow.

$5.29 for a tiny hamburger.

$5.29 for a tiny milkshake.

$2.99 for a tiny pile of so-called “crinkle cut” fries.

So $31 dollars later we’d finished lunch at the recently-opened Uptown Plaza Shake Shack a few days ago. Despite paying cash, I kept the receipt. Something about forking, (sorry, I couldn’t resist), over two crisp twenty dollar bills and getting a five, three ones and some coins back didn’t seem right.

…kinda like being aggressively pan-handled in NYC!

While the exterior of the building showed promise, once we’d stepped inside, the appeal began to dissipate, (kinda like my appetite). A veritable throng of enthusiastic, (and very adolescent), faces beamed from the other side of the counter as we pondered our choices.

Uh, OK, a burger, a shake and some fries. Done.

Transaction complete, we slid into a booth anticipating what would most certainly be a gastronomic epiphany of biblical proportions. I mean, c’mon, we were at The Shake Shack! It’s gotta be good, especially at those prices, right???

Blinky, blinky, buzz, buzz – hallelujah, our calorie-laden tray awaits! I sprint to the counter, bacteria-laden buzzer in hand.

Our dear friend wasn’t as hungry as we were, opting for a local craft brew instead, delivered with wait… wait… wait for it…

Yes, you guessed it, a biodegradable cup. I just love those soft, fuzzy, socially aware corporations, don’t you?

Beer goes into the cup, the cup is raised to toast our thimble-sized shakes and – no, wait – is that beer dribbling down the side of the cup onto the table? Turns out the entire box of biodegradable cups was opened with a box cutter. Yup, a 2 inch slit down the side of all fifty cups – oooops. Enthusiastic, yes, intelligent, no.

Sure, the restaurant faces Central Avenue, but let’s be clear – we’re not in Central Park. Not even close.

Shake [and burger and french fry and beer and wine prices need to come] down.