My lovely wife forwarded a link to Dominic Armato’s piece talking about the opening of Lou Malnati’s Pizzeria at – yes, you guessed it – Uptown Plaza next Monday, (May 16th). I read the article, (Dominic is clearly a fan of Chicago-style pizza), and then I had the misfortune of seeing the click bait-style headline for E.J. Montini’s screed pronouncing deep dish, a.k.a. “Chicago-style”, pizza an abomination.

Wow. …total dick move, E.J., total dick move….

Look, I like Pizzeria Bianco as much as the next person, but that doesn’t mean I’ve sworn my allegiance to New Yor-, er, uh, I mean Neapolitan-style pies for life.

How about thinking in terms of ‘A and B’ instead of ‘A or B’? Enough of the divisive bullsh*t E.J., OK?

Me? I’m actually looking forward to sampling one of those so-called ‘abominations’ sooner than later! Like Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday.

I wonder if Montini will even give ’em a fair shake. Hmmmm… Maybe I’ll spot him stomping across the parking lot to that New York-based outfit I wrote about last week hawking half-sized burgers and half-sized shakes for astronomical sums of money.

Also, do we really need yet another “us vs. them” opinion piece [of tripe]? Nope, got plenty of garbage out there to deal with. …and if you are going to go the “us vs. them” route, at least try to feign relevance with 21st century references – your target demographic of tragically hip, under-employed, digitally-inclined millennials deserve it.

Hey, who wants pie? I do. You got a problem with that?