We gave Sumo Maya a try last week. I’ll start by saying the food is first-rate – let’s get that out of the way right now – but alas, there’s also room for improvement, and on several fronts. :-(

OK, I’ll admit, stumbling into yet another hangout for the beautiful people in Scottsdale is getting a little tiresome, but this place has routinely received praise from the culinary crowd since it opened, so we decided to judge for ourselves.

Why have we waited so long? Dunno – maybe it’s the phalanx of Porsche convertibles parked out front, the proximity to one of those oh-so-cleverly-named Brazilian waxing salons called Lunch Box, or the auto-tuned crap that passes for music leaking from the patio, but we opted to brave it anyway.

…and like I said, the food was definitely worth putting up with the rest of what I’m about to describe.

“Yo, Sumo Maya wine dude, install a f*cking wine cooler, OK?” I expect my bottle to arrive at the proper temperature, not 78 degrees, sigh… Yeah, really. As I glanced around, I noticed cases of wine stored in shelves suspended from the ceiling, I sh*t you not. I’m betting that stuff tastes like vinegar…

Two, change the playlist. Seriously. Whomever is responsible for the music in this joint needs to be taken out behind the woodshed. I had high hopes when I walked in, (seeing the mixer board right there on the host[ess] stand and all), but c’mon folks, listening to 104 pound heroin addicts caked in Lancôme, oozing sexy all over their iTunes cover is not what I had in mind!

The Lumineers. Jack Johnson. James Bay. Hozier. Florence and the Machine. Got it?

Three. When espressos and a dessert are ordered, they kinda need to come out of the kitchen at the same time… Yup. Same time, OK? Oh, and a word to the disinterested 20-somethings pretending to be servers – stop congregating in the back of the restaurant whilst staring at your iPhones and start paying attention to your tables.

Harsh? No, not really. I don’t even want to hazard a guess at the rent. The decor is spot-on for this neighborhood too, so clearly someone involved with this establishment has a clue. The big moves – kitchen, location, decor – are all fine. The manager-types at Sumo Maya need to fix these smaller, (and easily-correctable), flaws, and do it pronto! After all, tourist season is just about to start…